Note #4 - Morning Shenanigans

Dear Perimenopausal Self...

Dear PMS,

Yup…every morning you now have a consistent farting routine when you wake-up. How much more embarrassing can this process get? Sweaty, fat, and farting?? What a super luscious state to be in!!

At least they’re “girly” in nature; no smell, light, and airy. Imagine if you were suffocating yourself as if in a boys locker room?? This could actually be way worse than it is!

Well, let’s look at the upside of this situation…at least you’re single and no one is around to witness or be awakened by this nuisance.

Imagine if you were with someone and this started a farting contest? Uh…no thank you! You’re way more comfortable in secrecy so at least that’s in your favor!

It’s almost as if this experience is designed to give you a chance to face everything you never have had to encounter before! A private carnival of freaky things that you didn’t know that your body was capable of…

For fuck sake you haven’t changed your diet and you’re not eating just before bed! This new development is not a reflection on you or your lifestyle so just let it be and stop over analyzing why this is happening. Save your research skills for much bigger dilemmas!

This too shall pass! HAHAHAHA!!!!

XOXO!

** ❤️ this post if you found it amusing!**